Hazard A Guess
by RainbowFang
Summary: Barricade, Blackout, Starscream, and Sideways are on a mission. Epps gets caught up in their plans, and the beginings of chaos' seeds are planted. Rated for language. No pairings.


**Hazard A Guess**

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_Eh, just something I'm doing from someone's plot bunny. You know who you are. You wanted more stories about Epps, remember?_

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**_On the Nemisis..._**

Barricade sighed, and looked over at Blackout. The dark mech gave him a small nod back. 'Cade sighed again and rolled his optics.

This meeting was boring.

Megatron suddenly snarled. "This is unacceptable!" He stood up, and stormed over to the ledge. Thundercracker cowered, and fell to his knees, staring down at the decking. The tyrant growled, and glared down on him. "Why can't you ever just do what you're told!"

Barricade felt bad for the poor guy. While the Decepticons were considered evil, they were actually rarely cruel. Megatron, on the other hand...

Blackout flinched when his leader struck a hard blow to the seeker.

Thundercracker cried out, and slumped to the deck.

"Let this be a lesson to you ingrates," Megatron said, turning back to his gathered few Decepticons.

Barricade mentally rolled his optics.

"I have planned an attack on the Autobots," Megatron announced, stepping up to his mechs. They snapped to attention.

'Oh boy, here we go again,' 'Cade thought.

* * *

It was just a small squadron, consisting of Starscream, Blackout, Barricade, and Sideways.

The police car sighed, settling down on his shocks. "Why are we doing this again?" he asked. He already knew the answer, but it was still amusing to annoy his captain.

"To gain intel, and take down any scouts, Barricade. How many times do I have to tell you?" Starscream hissed, turning around and giving Barricade a glare.

'Cade snickered, earning himself a sharp smack on the hood. "Hey!" he barked, mad that his paint was in danger. Then he sulked. "Why am I the only one in alt mode, anyway?" he mumbled to himself.

Blackout sighed. "Just shut up, Screamer. He's bored, is all. We all are. We haven't done anything yet."

Starscream snarled, but otherwise didn't act on his anger. "I agree, but don't smart off just because you're bored."

Sideways snorted. "I have more reasons than that, Starscream."

The seeker shook his head, and turned around, spying on the base.

A small human walked through the gates, and strode along the road, hands in his pockets, whistling. Starscream identified him as the Tech Sergeant Epps, and narrowed his optics. 'Odd,' he thought, not detecting any of the Autoscum near him. 'He carries but a small gun for protection,' he noted. The seeker turned back to the group. "We have our link, everyone. New objective: Capture and obtain information from the human."

Barricade snorted. "Like that worked last time...Yeah, right."

He backed up as Starscream leered at him. "Why are you looking at me that way?"

* * *

Barricade hated being a decoy. It almost always turned into unnecessary skirmishes that wrecked his beautiful paint. He wanted to just drive off and leave his squad behind. 'Who cares what happens. I just wanna get out of here!' he thought.

He started to rock back and forth on his wheels.

'Rolly, rolly, rolly, rollee,' he thought, by now extremely bored.

He sighed and stopped the motion, seeing Epps come over the small hill towards him. He turned on his hologram, and started up his engine. The human waved, and Barricade drove ahead, pulling over next to him. His hologram leaned out the window, and flashed a smile. "Howdy there. What're you doing out here all alone? This desert heat gets to ya fast, ya know."

Epps grinned. "Just taking a walk. I just walked in on my best friend and his wife by accident. I just wanted to get away, I guess."

'Cade smiled. "Yeah, that just happened to me two weeks ago. 'Cept it was my daughter and her boyfriend I saw," he said, the smile turning into a scowl.

Epps chuckled. "Heh, that's gotta be rough."

"Yep. Don't like the guy, either."

"You mean she's still with him?"

Barricade nodded.

Epps shook his head. "Wow."

"You want a ride to the bar for some ice cold lemonade?" the hologram asked, smile returning.

Epps shrugged. "Eh, I dunno. I'm 'sposed to be back soon."

'Cade's smile grew wider. "I have a great Ozzy CD..."

Epps grinned at this, and stepped to the passenger's side door. The hologram reached over and opened it for him. The man hopped in, and shut the door behind him. Barricade put it in gear, and pulled away from the small shoulder. He looked over at his passenger. "So you from around here?" he asked. "My name's Richard, by the way," he added.

Epps laughed, and shook Richard's hand. "I'm Robert." He took his hand back and buckled his seat belt. "Yeah, I'm from outta town about ten miles. Real secluded and pretty, you know?"

Richard nodded. He turned to look at the road ahead. "I've got a wife and three kids at home. All girls. Go figure."

Robert chuckled. "Same here, surprisingly. But I love them all to death."

* * *

Barricade pulled up to Betty's Saguaro, deep in conversation with Robert. He found the man interesting.

"So then she says, 'I'm gonna get it, I don't care what you say, so leave me the hell alone.'" Richard laughed.

"Heh, so then did she get it?"

Robert snorted. "Hell yeah."

"And?"

Robbie smiled. "I was wrong."

They both burst out laughing, and got out of the vehicle, then started walking to the door.

Once they got inside and ordered their drinks, Richard sighed and turned to the man next to him. "Maybe we should get together again sometime, you know, talk about nothin', drink some beer, and watch the game."

Robert grinned and nodded. "Sure. I'll give you my number so you can call me."

Richard nodded and smiled. "Great."

* * *

"What is taking him so long?" Starscream vented, frustration building in his systems. Blackout sighed and rolled his optics.

"He's probably just gaining the human's trust." "Or something like that," he added, shifting so he was more comfortable, lying in the grass. Sideways snorted, kicking his feet in the air, also on his front, relaxing.

Starscream glared at them both. "Just shut up." He stood up. "Megatron ordered us to complete this mission. But he didn't say how..."

"Then why don't we just send 'Ways in to get the job done?" Blackout volunteered.

Sideways nodded. Starscream leered at him.

Then he shook his head furiously no.

"I am not!"

* * *

Sideways hated Starscream with all his spark. He was supposed to just waltz right in and start shooting at everybody.

'How stupid! I's a suicide mission!' he thought. Then he scowled. 'That dirty bastard just wants me dead.'

* * *

Blackout and Starscream snickered, thinking about poor Sideways.

"That idiot will fall for anything,' said Starscream, letting out a snort.


End file.
